Disappointments occur, at times daily. Maybe an unkind word meant to be a joke but it still hurts. Disagreements, shaming, unequal treatment, troubled past or feeling miserable that one cannot change the outcome of a bad decision.
The fact is one’s response to the hurt would make it worse than the hurt itself. We may not be responsible for what happens to us, but we are still responsible for how we respond to it. In reality, the past is for redemptive reflection, not for blaming or collecting. Why should we go about collecting “garbage” when there is no obligation to do so? Why must we expect perfection when there is simply no such thing? Why let pride dictate my response when pride always leads to a fall? Some responses like resentment, bitterness, envy, scoring, self-pity and self-doubt can eat us up, adding to the hurt. We could eventually find ourselves lonelier, weaker and feeling trapped.
What to do now? Should I quit or move? Maybe it is not “where” but “what and how.” It could simply be realizing that we become what we respond to and how we respond to it. What if we choose to respond to what is true “and” eternal instead? Won’t we become truer and wiser? What if we ask what can this teach me and think of how to overcome? Won’t we become the architect instead of the victim?
Maybe it is easier said than done? Actually, using this approach is so rewarding you would not even mind the effort. Remember Joseph who was sold to slavery by his brothers? He named his two sons Manasseh and Ephraim. The names meant “God has made me forget” and “God has made me fertile in the land of my affliction” respectively. These names reminded him over and over about what’s true, what he chose to respond to. What a creative way to respond to his misfortunes, and so rewarding.